Mom Turns 90!

It has been 6 months since my last post.  Where did the time go?  Family and friends celebrated Mom’s birthday in Florida in December and my sister and I decided that Mom could no longer travel to Georgia.  Yin/yang. Glad/sad. Same/change.  Complimentary opposites. Balance.  The beginning of the transition left me feeling very unbalanced.  How was I going to participate in her care living 360 miles away?

After many sleepless nights, I decided to make the trip to Chumuckla every two weeks to stay with Mom for two weeks at a time. My sister and I partner in her care allowing her to stay in her home.  She moves in with Mom when I am not there.  Our husbands have been supportive of our efforts. I have been doing this for five months now.  Hospice came on board in January.  Kathy and Tracy give us strength as they treat Mom with care and respect.  Mom continues to enjoy daily rides, sitting outside and seeing those she loves.

I seem to be in a constant state of grieving on some level.  I grieve when I leave my husband and grandchildren in Georgia. I grieve when I leave Mom in Florida.  I adore all of my family.  I would walk on hot coals for any of them.  Sometimes, I feel like I am doing just that.  Will I be burned?  I am learning that love overcomes obstacles and many times turns them into blessings. So even when I feel the heat, I can watch beautiful sunsets over plowed fields.  I can visit with my sister, her husband, my nephews and niece, cousins and old friends.  I can watch a full moon rise to fill the sky and land with light in the darkness.  I can buy the freshest of vegetables from Salter’s Farm Market.  I can see Mom smile and hold her hand.  I can go home to Georgia to the love of my life.

Caregiving poses many challenges.  Deciding where a person should be cared for is complicated.  And, if they are in their home, who will help provide the care?  It can get very stressful having a loved one who is unable to care for themselves, whether you are involved directly in their care or not.  I am grateful to be able to share in Mom’s care with my sister.  I can’t imagine trying to do it alone.

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6 thoughts on “Mom Turns 90!

  1. I appreciate you love and concern for everyone, and thank you for expressing just how painful it is..The deep love we have for all in our families is left unsaid so many times and so many times left unexpressed….because of poor time choices and priorities, a parent who is a martyr and will not allow themselves the privilege if being loved or cared for. I appreciate what you are going through. I work for Retired Seniors Volunteer Program and have now seen the true importance of community and being there for each other…We are a village. You are doing what every family should if and when possible…I loved your story. God will see you through it all.. We are Jesus’ hands and feet. God bless and keep you all as I know HE will. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  2. This is a beautiful post. You both are such great daughters to Aunt Frances and she is blessed to have ya’ll take care of her. That’s the best care and gift you can give to her. =)

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