Mom returns to my house next week. My caregiving juices have started to flow, less sleep at night, more tired during the day. I dreamed very vividly last night that I got up in the night and discovered Mom sitting on the couch, sound asleep, wearing a light blue house coat, with her chin on her chest, snoring. I was astounded that I had forgotten to put her in her bed. With her sweet disposition, she didn’t make a fuss. She made the best of the situation and peacefully went to sleep where she was. I woke up, startled, but smiling.
I would like to dump this small lump of anxiety that I am caring around. I’ve tried all the tricks of the trade, prayer, yoga, walking, whining, and wine. Today, I am accepting it for what it is. I’ll get to know it. Ask it how it’s doing. Already, I feel better. Breathe deeply. It is part of me. Breathe deeper. Acceptance.
Creating brings me back to my center. I will go down to my workroom and start on the five Napkinections that I plan to make this week. I will post them in my Etsy store by Friday.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow;
behind it, yet, within our reach, is joy.
Fra Giovanni, A.D. 1513